Friday, November 11, 2011

Eight facts of life...

Imagine you log in to your favourite messenger one cool December morning expecting offliners from that guy you have a crush on.. this old school friend of yours whom you met yesterday on facebook, or a morning wish from your brother who's online after an age.. and you are stared in the face by a really cryptic IM.. "Hey! You're tagged!" You fumble for a meaning.. "What exactly does that mean?" you ask yourself.. and when you fail to decrypt the message you ask your friend who broke that joyous news to you..
Uff!! You don't even know that it was a joyous news, which he seemed to have conveyed so excitedly to you.. Till he tells you what exactly that means, you run a search through your brain for all the instances registered for "tag" or "tagged". Your brain gives you a google trace of the search term. "Tag" was what you removed from the (then) new Jeans you bought from Big Bazaar last month, Tag Heuer was the watch you felt like stealing at the same mall.. You are a geek and you even know all the HTML tags, and you, thus, also know that is a social networking site affiliated to Yahoo! But you have not received another such jeans, the Tag watch nor have you got an award from the W3C for your HTML shenanigans nor a invitation.. So what exactly has happened?! While you are scratching your head (assuming that its actually your brain you are scratching, running another google for "tags") your friend comes up with this - "Arey, look at my post!" He says.
You check out his post and find out that he has written a post called "8 facts of my life" and has gone about explaining that he had been "tagged" to write that post. So tagging someone means that a poor soul gets a tag around his (in case such as mine - her) neck to post on her blog THE eight facts of life she deems are public-private enough to appear on her blog... until the tag does not really become the noose they show in Hindi movies.
Huh?! You swear.. why exactly am I supposed to do that? Especially when your boss at the company you are having this training programme is pushing you for the wire frame of the website, you Mom wants you to renounce blogging, your ASP teacher has asked you to submit 3 super sized programs the next day (you in fact realize that it IS the day you are supposed to submit the programs - its twelve already), and last but not the least you must get an earthen pot for your sweetheart Aloe Vera plant your Dad is going to get you... You try swearing at the guy who wanted to noose tag you.. but aww he's so ________ cute! The blank is left here on purpose, you can substitute a word of your choice here.. which may (incidentally) be a curse... so that is solved.. but then swearing does not exactly excuse you from the tag.. you pick up the courage to refuse using a really cliched "pick up" (of course the pun is intended) line "What if I don't?" but you notice the grey dot on the chat window that pulls your collar and screams that he's offline.. with that there's an IM.. "Im going away for three weeks.. vacation" - now is when you are really jealous of his vacations... Now you cannot really know what happens if you don't really write that...
Its like a thunderbolt out of the blue.. "BOOM! You've been tagged!" that misses your chair by inches, where you had been sitting long.. the good news is you at least lifted your bum up to rush down to your PC and open blogger.. The persons who came here to see THE eight facts probably will scroll down all these lines and see those facts outright.. (You didn't did you?) Okay no finger pointing.. On with the eight facts
1. I am a girl.
Anyone who does not agree with that will have a REAL noose in their necks! A sub fact is that I am kidding (not about my Girl status OK?). Call me a young lady if you will, or an old frump if you wish, I still am a Girl.
2. Being a Girl, I feel strongly about Women's issues.
Whether its social, health or other, I feel women who are not aware need the proper guidance about them - from those who are and be empowered to be independent.
3. I am only 90% feminist.
Yes I feel about women's issues, but that does not make me a complete feminist - it does not make me a feminist at all in fact. And if you were wondering about the 10% instead of the relation of women's issues and being a feminist, the reason is that I love playing Tomb Raider.. and thus do not agree with the Feminist's ire on TR.. my favourite PC game. And the real reason is that rest 10% of my nature is lost in giving boys their much needed attention ..huh..? what are you thinking? I am totally into gender equality! Oops another fact!
4. I believe in following traffic laws.
Yes, I having a vehicle in a totally chaotic city.. Ahmedabad, try being unlike the rest of the public. By the way, if you haven't been anywhere close to Patchez' vicinity - I feel encouraged to tell you that there are only 2 ways of survival in Ahmedabad on the streets.. Follow all the rules.. or none.. Sometimes you want your conscience to get the worse of you :(
Therefore I do not cross the red light till it turns green, I wear a helmet and follow my speed limits.
5. I am only 0.5% geek and 100% nerd.
Unfortunately - geeks are usually considered Hackers and Nerds, are boring. I'm 0.5% intelligent, and 100% boring.
6. I hate speaking rudely.
But then again that's not what I do. Meaning not speaking rudely!
7. I love Dogs!
Yes, I really do, and dearly wish to keep a pet doggy, but the chances that Mom will stay in the same house (or it will remain the same house after this new family member [Mom's step child] arrives) are close to nil..
8. And finally this was my first Tag, and those who tag me will really receive a similar noose around their neck! BEWARE!
P.S. : I really adore this guy who tagged me and by the way.. I just spun a tale with my footloose tendencies.. hey Zed.. don't feel bad. The truth is that I really enjoyed writing this post! :P
P.P.S. Would anyone like to be tagged.. by me??

~ Fare Well!


Winnie the poohi said...

i dont think so :P

Patchez said...

@winne the poohi..
dont think so abt wat?? bein tagged or abt the facts.. in tha later case.. u get tagged!! lolol!! :D


zahid said...

I'm really really sorry patchez!!! i din know you would treat me with an open adjective space in your blog !!! just hope it does not go in wrong hands and i'm showered with all the _____ slangs in the world////

And i guess you were too hard on yourself trying to write this post!!

Patchez...see you soon....real soon !!! and then you can give me whatever punishment you want !!!

Patchez said...

Hey come on!! >:D<

that wasn't really targeted on ya...
i WROTE that!! :(

now u dun listen....... :(

★●Shadow Stalker●★ said...

Loved your 4 definitions of Tags. I'm lucky no one has "tagged" me till now, please, don't be the 1st one, coz I can't simply put together 8 facts of life, if I post anything like that, people would think I've gone nuts. Anyways, it's nice to hear from you (in this case, read) after quite some time.

Do you come to Orkut these days, Prachi?


Hemali said...

Hi Paches !
really enjoyed in this post(partially its on me too...he..he..).....:roll:

but u know dear the most difficult thing in this world is to win against yourself! How does one go about it? That's what I am trying to find out.!

Patchez said...


thats true re... its realy difficult.. bt nawt impossible.. gr8 to see ya here! :D

zahid said...

Patchez!!! i knew I knew !!!

And i amlistening too..... just not as much as it was before !!!

manisha said...

oieeeeeeeeeee...u didnt even read nethng.....still it was gud readin my blog..????kya re...and no one told me bout my story being in the colection of bst blog??...well i wud hv had the reason to celebrate na???.....thnks a lot!!!!!!!!!!

Patchez said...


arey ive been actually following up!! :P hehehe!!!

i just din blow trumpetz about it! ;)

crystal ship said...

nice post;) complete entertainment i wud say!:P
n ya don tag me!:P

Patchez said...

okie.. ure not tagged :P

lolol!! but puhlease keep posting or i may hav to tak tha extreme step :(

crystal ship said...

ther ya go :) :)

manisha said...

I wish to see your yearpost..its like a yearbook..k??…the questions are in my blog..copy paste them and answer!! Happy new year!!!

laddu said...

dis was a cool post....liked ur 8 facts of life........